Do your civic duty and go fill in those bubbles. It’ll only take a few minutes. Or a few hours. Depends.

Then, if you’re assigned to a stickerless polling station, print out the image to the right. I suggest you rhinestone it, too.

photography by Desiree Espada

Paris Fashion Week has nothing on this fashionable festival. So, street style hopefuls sported sculptural shorts? We’ve got ladies in chicken hats. Who cares about this woman’s embellished necklace? I’ll raise you thirty rhinestoned Western belt buckles. Photographers think they spotted the best accessories outside the Chanel show? I bet they’ll wish they discovered the palm-sized purses in metallic shades of pink under the fair’s iconic shopping tent. Or perhaps the headband stand with the how-to video featuring a 90s model with a mullet. Edgy stuff. So perhaps you don’t need a Neimans trip this weekend. You can easily swap it for a trip to the State Fair. And about those brunch plans, cancel them, too. You can get a perfectly sophisticated mimosa at this fried Samoas stand.

If you’re going at night, you’ll want to put in some extra effort. With glitter eyeshadow. It’s a sexy affair when the stars come out. If you’re modest, leave it behind. You’ll want to show off your cheeks (not the blushing ones) and bare your midriff. And, of course, you top off the look with your chicken hat.

Ladies who lunch will want to use this guide to healthy food at the fair.

For many women, mammograms are an uncomfortable experience. However, at Methodist Dallas, breast care specialists ensure that women feel relaxed, comfortable, and pampered while they take care of their health. At Monday Night Mammos, women will receive the five-star treatment, beginning the moment they arrive with free valet parking. Soothing aromatherapy, a relaxing chair massage, and a gentle hand rub are next, followed by delicious, light spa cuisine. When it comes time for their mammograms, women are given a soft, warm MammoPad® breast cushion to ensure their comfort. Expert radiologists read the results with the added benefit of Digital ImageChecker® computer aided detection technology which improves early detection. Women receive their results within 24 hours.

Upcoming dates include June 25, July 30, August 27, and September 24. Cost is $266.70. For more information or to RSVP for an upcoming Monday Night Mammos event, head to www.methodisthealthsystem.org/mondaymammos or call 214-947-3441, option 1.

Before I make the exact same rant that already exists, I’ll let you read my cerebral sister’s thoughts on The Jane Dough. Then come back over so I can tell you how ol’ Billionaire bottle is so cheap the paint is flaking off. It is. Truly. Also, I wondered if I could remove one of the tacky rhinestones around the neck, and I could. Easy. With a quick flick of the fingernail.

Okay, where’s the hidden camera around here? Is Ellen in your ear, Kate? Good news is it doesn’t smell too terrible. But I still say if you want your perfume to induce feelings of being rich, go with Thierry Mugler’s Angel Collector Superstar Swarovski-encrusted edition for $3,000.

via StyleSheet

Is that what you say to someone sporting a furry fox tail as fashion? It’s happening on StyleSheet this week (right), and so the conversation has cropped up. Is wearing a tail fashionable? (Let’s say it’s faux so we can skip the cruelty angle.) I thought this was a statement reserved for furries at conventions, no? According to Google, Posh participated in the bushy tail trend courtesy of Louis Vuitton circa spring 2010, but does that mean rodent behinds are just reaching the masses? PETA, where are you on this? If I show up wearing this to happy hour, am I in or am I out?

And this one.

Okay. I’m going to go have a “personality drink” for lunch now.

I might pay to use the dressing rooms at Just Add Jeans. They're fantastic.

Probably not, but I got a press release today warning that because Australian merchants are charging for changing room use, shops here in the U.S. might start, too. The idea is that it’ll prevent online shoppers from finding their sizes in stores and then going home and ordering online for discounted prices. Instead, the release promotes e-tailers that offer free shipping both ways, including returns, (companies like Piperlime, Zappos, and Madewell), but I’m curious. Have any you heard of any shops here charging to change?

Can anyone tell me how these were they sold out?

photo from carlashes.com

I really hope so. It’s apparently a new trend. Hopefully we’ll see a pair of falsies on a vehicle in Dallas sometime soon.

We, too, have the High Contrast/Photoshop Filter/iSightShot group (see #1), who mask their faces behind colorful auras. I think they assume it makes them look artistic.

The Dallas variety of the Just Hangin’ with my Bros Shot (see #3) seems a bit sillier than the Ryans’ of NYC. These guys are up to no good, and they can’t wait for people to find out. “Hey, look at us! We’re silly! And we do silly things on vacation!”

I’m going to pass over Meg’s “Too Much Party For One Picture Shot”, “I Love My Girlfriend Shot” (sooooooo boring), “Me & My Girlfriend Support a Team! Shot” (we have lots of those, though), and the “THIS GUY! Shot” (not so many of those). (The Jakes of Dallas produce an outstanding number of “Me and My Girlfriend Go to Friends’ Weddings” shots, by the way.) Let’s move right on ahead to the Drunk Guido Shot. Fortunately, I did not come across many of these in the Dallas Jake Facebook lineup. But, unlike the men of New York, Dallas guys are not afraid to post themselves looking as pretty as possible. Call it the “I’m Prettier Than My Girlfriend Shot” or the “Watch Me Stare Off In Deep Thought Shot” or maybe even the “My Handsomeness Rivals the Sunset Shot.”

Let’s move on to the Just Jamming with my Band Shot (see #12), shall we? What I’ve discovered, instead, is that the tatted men of this city are far too bold to beat around the bush with an artistic band shot of sorts. They go right to the goods with the “I’m A Badass. Here’s My Tattoo to Prove It” photo.

Next, let’s take a brief look at the Accidental Self-Photographer Shot (#16). Guys are far less into making themselves look like a 10 for Facebook, right? Wrong. Busted. The shoulder lift proves it. (Warning: Do not attempt while driving like this guy.)

The Self-Cell-Photographer Shot (see # 16) is a nationwide movement, sadly. Girls make kissy faces in the mirror to their PDAs, and well, guys do it, too. (Sometimes topless.)

And speaking of topless, let’s delve right into the shirtless conversation. It makes you creepy to post near-nakie pictures of yourself as your profile picture on Facebook, men. Please stop. (And please stop kissing manequins, as well.) Introducing: the “I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt Shot.”

We’re going to skip #18 on Meg’s list and replace it with the “You Don’t Know Me, Son Shot.” Apparently the good Southern mommies of Dallas taught their Jakes not to flip the bird to strangers. Of course, they still need to get their point across, though. Hence these serious shots.

I happen to love The Throwin’ a Hand Sign Shot (see #19). It’s terrible and terribly funny. Does anyone even know exactly what all the gestures mean? Gangsters do it. Gangster-ish boys do it. Gangster-wannabes do it. And SMU frat boys do it.

Now I’m going to throw in a Dallas original. I like to call it the “I Hunt Pose.” Posing with rifles, in camouflage, or with a collection of bleeding feathery or furry things all fall in this category. Most frightening, of course, is a toddler holding a gun the size of her body. Cute hair tie, though, kiddo.

Poo turned paper.

If you already knew that paper-from-poop existed, pardon this news announcement. For those of you who, like me, are just finding out and excited to stock up on PooPooPaper to give as gifts, go find it at Green Living like I did. If you’ve never been to the Lakewood eco lifestyle shop, you need to go anyway, regardless of poop, paper, or the combination of both. The new description in our Green Living store listing will tell you why.